Continue reading »]]> DRILL PRESS:
A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL:
Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, “Oh, shit!”

SKILL SAW:
A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS:
Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER:
An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW:
One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle… It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS:
Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads.. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH:
Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.

TABLE SAW:
A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK:
Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW:
A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST:
A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER:
Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER:
A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR:
A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER:
A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER:
Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE:
Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

Son of a bitch TOOL:
Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling “Son of a bitch” at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need

Continue reading »]]> Just finished reading this the other night on my Samsung Galaxy Tablet which I bet has Steve rolling in his grave.

It was an interesting read but I guess I was shocked at how much of an ass Steve Jobs was during his life. I’m not going to give a full summation here but I wanted to mention one thing I found troubling from the book.

Steve Jobs admitted to taking other people’s ideas and making them better, inventing nothing other than innovation yet he was livid over Android saying it was a stolen product. I take issue with that since Mac OS was originally created by Xerox and he just made it better. The Walkman was created by Sony and the iPod was really just a better version of it. I guess when Jobs made something better it was ‘innovation’ while everyone else is just stealing. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery so maybe instead of suing everyone and getting pissed off Steve Jobs should have been a bit more humble.

Continue reading »]]> For the longest time I used to think holding a grudge was an admirable trait, the ultimate example of never accepting some injustice committed against you. I believed that by forgiving someone who had hurt you you were somehow saying what they did was OK. I’ve come to realize lately that this was the wrong way to look at things. By refusing to forgive you are really only hurting yourself. These people who may have hurt you have already proven they do not care about you, your feelings or what you think about their actions. Being pissed off at them is a waste of time and they are from the inception of your anger not worth it. Live your life, surround yourself with people better than them, move on and forgive but never forget. In the end people who hurt others will have only themselves to answer to.

Continue reading »]]> Swear Less

I think over the years I’ve just gotten lazy with my language. There’s no reason to drop the F-bomb multiple times in the same sentence. I have an impressive vocabulary and I’m going to try harder to utilize it this year. Using cuss words just makes you look stupid and primitive.

Loose Weight

This one will be the hardest to keep but I gotta do it. I know I feel better when I exercise regularly, my clothes look better on me and I sleep better. My girlfriend also sleeps better since when I’m exercising I don’t snore as bad which she appreciates.

Be Nicer A More Patient

I never intend to come off brash  or impetuous, it’s just my natural temperament. I am aware I hurt people’s feelings and I don’t mean to, I’ll work on that this year.

Post More Often

I don’t lead that exciting of a life so I rarely feel motivated to post new content. I’m going to treat this more like an online journal of my thoughts and ideas which is what I should have been doing all along. Hopefully this will make things more active around here and less stagnant.

Continue reading »]]>

Today while checking out my friend Tenny’s blog I saw he had posted a nice article about what the death of Steve Jobs meant to him. I thought it was a good idea so with credit to Tenny for the idea I too am posting my thoughts on the passing of Steve Jobs last week.

I’m sure anybody who has been around technology long enough is familiar with the fierce rivalry between the Apple and PC camps. After the iPhone was released and then Android yet another war was waged this time on the phone front. I’ll admit I’ve been involved in a few heated debates myself on the pros and cons of the iPhone vs. Anroid  but these days I just don’t have the same vinegar in my piss towards Apple.

I owned a Powerbook back when they were the top of the line in Apple’s laptop family but sadly I was a victim of the switch to the Intel architecture. I’ve owned two iPod shuffles, an iPod touch, an iPhone 3G, an iPhone 4 and an iPad2. I’ve also returned an iPone 3G, an iPhone 4 and an iPad2. I won’t deny that there’s something extremely desirable about Apple’s products but no matter how hard  I try to embrace them I just cannot get past that feeling of being controlled. I own an Android phone and a Galaxy tab and my laptop is a Thinkpad instead of a Macbook.

So where am I going with this? Clearly Steve Jobs was a marketing genius and had that special gift of creating a driving want for his products. He took  highly sophisticated technology and made it simple for everyone to use. Take me for example, I wanted to want his products and tried over and over to work them into my life even though ultimately I knew they were not for me. I would not call myself an Apple fan but at the same time I cannot say that I don’t think Apple stuff is incredible. He made he a huge impact on the computer industry, the movie industry and the music industry. He will be missed by millions of people which in itself is an amazing thing to accomplish.

Next time you find yourself saying one person can’t change the world, think different.

Continue reading »]]> Saw this opening night and knew the moment I walked into the theater it was gonna to be a stinker. There was barely anybody there and if I had to guess there may have been 20 people tops.

I saw the original of this movie back in the 90′s at a buddies house who insisted I see it. I had never heard of it but figured what the hell I’ll give it a shot. After finishing the movie I thought to myself that was a pretty good movie. The rape scene was pretty grizzly in the original but thankfully they were a little more discreet in the remake which I appreciated. All in all the story is the same and they only made a few changes such as Amy being from Backwater Mississippi instead of England.

So should you go see this movie? I wouldn’t and if you do want to see it then wait for Netflix or streaming.

Continue reading »]]> The time has come my Cisco certs are expiring soon and it’s test time again. I’ve been hitting the books hard the past two weeks for the 642-813 or Switch for those not in the Cisco test world. I’m feeling pretty confident and my test is scheduled for September 20th @ 1pm in Fennimore which I’m not thrilled about. Turns out the testing center here books out months in advance and my cert expires October 10th. My only choice was to schedule it out in Fennimore so I could take and pass the test before my cert expires.

Continue reading »]]> Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn’t always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I’m A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.